Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Great Weekend!

Well, I have some news to report!!  I went to the doctor on Friday for my regular 16 week appointment.  I was confident and had been praying that the nurse would be able to find the heart beat quickly.  After all, they could hear it clearly at 12 weeks.  Well, the nurse came in and she spent a few minutes looking for the heartbeat but could not find it.  At this point I was a bit nervous, but still composed.  I thought to myself that this can't be happening, this is Mother's Day weekend.  I told myself that God has blessed us with this baby and this would be a great Mother's Day!  Then the doctor came in and she tried to find the heartbeat.  I'm assuming she could tell I was starting to panic because she said that she didn't want to keep me waiting any longer and we would just do an ultrasound.  I'm amazed that I didn't start crying throughout this ordeal, but I felt some sort of peace in the midst of this chaos.  As soon as the ultrasound tech put the wand thing on my belly she assured me that there was a heart beat.  I had been hoping to see the baby moving around, but I guess the baby was sleeping.  It was amazing to see our little bundle so much bigger than when we had seen it last.  The last ultrasound I had was at 8 weeks and my how things change in 8 weeks!  I didn't think I'd be getting an ultrasound, so I didn't have DH or my mom come with me and I wish I would have.  I just felt like I needed to try going to the doctor alone.  

Well, the tech asked me if I wanted to see between the legs and I said of course without even thinking twice!!  She told us that we are having a boy!  I can't remember if I had said this in a previous post but I had felt like we were having a boy from the very beginning of our pregnancy.  I'm thrilled and of course so is my husband.  I know he really wanted a boy!  Now we have to think of boy names and we have none that we really like, at least none I really like.  I keep praying that God will reveal a name to us just like He did back in the Bible.  We've still got some time, so I'm not in too much of a hurry.  I was looking online yesterday for unique baby boy names and I came upon this website that had the craziest names I've ever seen.  Here's a few:  Huntquail, Napalm, Stephenever, Clicker, Prymal.  I want our baby to have a unique name, but maybe not that unique.  Any good ideas you'd be willing to share?

I had a really good, almost Mother's Day.  DH got me some flowers and a sweet card.  My parents got me a bracelet with a baby carriage charm and my MIL gave me some money towards maternity clothes.  We all had lunch at my parents house and everything was great.  DH and his brother played corn hole in the back yard and it was a relaxing day overall (other than the laundry I had to do when I got home).  I was telling DH how I remember praying last Mother's Day that this Mother's Day would be different, that we would either have a baby or be expecting a baby.  Even though we endured the loss in November, God makes all things new.  There are absolutely days when I think I'll have a melt down and all I can do is think about my first pregnancy.  I know many women said that the only thing that helped them recover from the loss  was having another baby, but for me it's not that way.  Although I'm incredibly excited about our baby boy, there is still a part of my heart that aches for our first baby.  I know time will heal.  God is so good!! 

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

15 week update

It's hard to believe that we've made it to 15 weeks!  None of my pre-preggo clothes fit without the bella band and even with it, my clothes are just not comfortable.  However, I love the knit gaucho pants and skirts from Target!  I'm finally eating meat again.  When I was having morning sickness, meat was totally off limits.  Last Friday my mom and I were out for lunch and she mentioned going to Chick-Fil-A.  For some reason, that sounded wonderful.  I got the original chicken sandwich and it was great!!  I had been wondering for the past few days if I was just scared of eating meat again or if I would really get sick.  Turns out, I was just scared of it.  DH is so grateful, he said he was gettting worried that it would be a permanent thing:)

While I'm getting more and more excited, I still have my moments of concern.  I have my 16 week dr. appointment this week and again the nervousness sets in.  I thought I would be excited to hear the heartbeat again, to ask the doctor all the questions I forgot to ask the last time, but I'm scared at the same time.  I know, God is good and He has given us this sweet baby, but I don't think you ever get over those words, "there is no heartbeat".  It's been nearly 6 months (wow, I can't believe it's been that long) since the miscarriage, but every time I have a doctor's appointment it's like a fresh wound all over again.  I know God is teaching DH and I something through this.  I know He's especially teaching me to have faith in Him.  Each day I pray for peace to get through the day and I guess that's all I need.  I'm definitely not freaking out every day, but there is some concern.  I am placing my complete trust in God right now.  I know this road I'm on is forever changed, but I'm slowly finding joy in the journey I'm on. 

Have a great week!