I know this is nearly 11 weeks late, but better late than never right? I will tell you that there might be some episodes of TMI. I'm writing this more for myself than anyone, so I'm gonna tell it like it is:)
About 6 weeks before our baby girl was born Josh and I were at church on a Sunday morning. At our church you can go up to the front for prayer, if needed/desired, and a "prayer partner" will pray with you. We have quite a large congregation and there are way too many people for just the pastors to pray for. Josh and I rarely go up for prayer. We don't have any major ailments or reasons to, I guess. Some of you may know Colleen. She is a prayer partner and I decided to have her pray for me. I love Colleen! She is an amazing woman of God and I just knew that her and I would be in agreement during this prayer time. I should let you know that I had a c-section with my son and really wanted, I mean really wanted, a VBAC this time around. I told Colleen how I really wanted a VBAC and how I was concerned how I would be able to care for my son, who is 18 months, after having major surgery if I needed a c-section. With a c-section I would not have been able to lift Jackson for a month! He still sleeps in a crib, sits in a high chair, and has his diaper changed on a changing table. Colleen started praying and I noticed that she was not saying a word about having a VBAC. She just prayed that I would be healthy, baby girl would be healthy, and that Jackson would be taken care of. I have to admit that I'm a bit of a control freak and I was getting upset that she was not praying the way I wanted her to. I went back to my seat and I was so frustrated. Maybe I had gone to the wrong person for prayer, maybe she was off her "prayer game" today. I didn't feel like there was any need to share this with my husband, after all Colleen had not prayed the way I told her to.
I was seeing Dr. L, he had delivered my son and I had a very good c-section delivery experience. We had decided that we would schedule the c-section for my due date, May 18th and if I went into labor on my own I could try for a VBAC. With a VBAC you have to go into labor on your own, progress at a rate that is acceptable to the doctor, and no pitocin to speed things up. His surgery scheduler called me to verify the time and date of the c-section and everything was good to go. I had delivered my son at a wonderful hospital and my doctor was the only one at his practice that delivered there. I had not double checked with the scheduler that I was delivering at the same hospital as I did with Jackson. I just assumed that since I had delivered there before they would know. All the other doctors deliver at another hospital that I had heard bad things about and I did not want to go there! I called the scheduler back to double check the hospital and guess what???? Dr. L no longer delivers at the hospital I had Jackson at!!!! I was so upset!! How am I just finding this out at 34 weeks??? Of course everyone blamed each other as to why I did not know this information. I immediately texted my L/D nurse friend to find out what she would do. She said she would not deliver at the hospital they had scheduled me at. I had a feeling that's what she would say. Now I was in a frantic state trying to find a new doctor that would deliver at the hospital I wanted. No doctor that I had heard good things about delivered there.
There was a OB/GYN practice that I had gone to a few years ago and left for good reasons, but I considered going back at this point. I called to schedule an appointment and see how I felt about the doctor. At this practice, the doctor that will deliver you is the doctor that is on call. I wasn't a big fan of this, but I didn't have much of a choice. I saw Dr. A and I loved her. She was not the super sweet and soft spoken type, but she helped me to feel encouraged about having a VBAC. We still had the same plan of action as the other doctor, schedule the c-section and pray to go into labor before then.
My son was a big baby 9lb 9oz. That is probably why I needed a c-section!! Dr. A told me that she wasn't sure if I would be able to have a VBAC due to the reasons I needed a c-section before. She said that some women just have big babies and that this baby was tracking to be Jackson's size or bigger! At this point God had been working on my heart regarding Colleen's prayer. I felt him saying to me, "Let it go, trust me". That was really hard for me to do. I just kept asking Him, "How will Jackson be taken care of? I can't neglect him for a month!!"
Up until this point, I felt like I trusted God and I could check that off my list. The problem is that trusting God is never something I can check off my list, it's a constant thing I need to work on. Just when I feel like I've got this trusting God thing under control, He helps me to see that there is more for me to learn. Colleen's prayer was the starting point for this new lesson. God just wanted me to trust Him and He wanted me to see that His ways are far greater than mine. He knew that I didn't have someone that could stay with me for a month to help care for Jackson, He knew the desires of my heart. Ultimately I wanted a healthy baby girl, Jackson to be cared for and for a healthy mama!
I went in for my 38 week doctor visit and Dr. A said we'll see ya next week. I was 1cm dilated at that visit. 2 days later at 4:38am my water broke, praise Jesus!! With Jackson I had to be induced a week past my due date and this time I went into labor on my own and 2 weeks early! We made it to the hospital around 6am and got all checked in and at the time I was dilated to 4cm. I was having contractions but they weren't painful. I got an epidural and it was delicious!! I had to push for about an hour but this time I was able to deliver our sweet baby Hayden via VBAC May 5, 2012 at 7:13pm. She was 8lb 10oz and absolutely beautiful!! I didn't realize that when you are trying to have a VBAC, the doctor has to stay at the hospital the whole time. I was so thankful that I switched practices when I did and had a doctor who was willing to spend her entire Saturday with us. I don't think Dr. L would have done that. If the doctor isn't willing to wait at the hospital then you have to have a c-section. I know that when Colleen prayed for me that day it was just the beginning of God revealing to me His plan, of course He knew it the whole time:)