To My Sweet (Baby) Boy...

Dear Jackson,

You are such an amazing gift from God.  There are so many things I want to remember about this time in your life!  You are 21 months old (I'm still not ready to give up noting your age in months, maybe when your 2 then I'll stick with years), you are so sweet, loving, independent, smart, verbal and at times impatient.  You've been such a good talker since about 18 months.  It has been so nice because when you need something, for the most part you can tell me what it is you need or want.  You can climb out of your crib, but after mommy said no climbing you don't and that is one of many things that you do that melts my heart.  We are going to start potty training you in a few weeks.  We've ordered the potty and it's sitting in the living room:)  You love Matchbox cars and I might need to buy you a few more.  We only have two and if you lose one (and that happens often) you get very upset.  You look so much like your daddy, especially when we make your hair spiky like his.  It's hard to believe how fast you've grown.  I look at Hayden and I can't believe just a few months ago you were her size.  I know it's part of God's plan for you to grow up, but sometimes I wish I could keep you small.  I love that I can tell you, "say I love mommy" and you do it.  I know there will come a day when you won't want to say you love me and you won't want my besos on your cheek.

Before you were born I started praying for your future wife and for your salvation.  It was much easier to pray for your spouse when I couldn't see you and you were still in my belly.  Now, it's harder to pray those prayers for your future because I want to keep you small.  I want to be able to lean down and hold your hand for many years to come.  One day you'll be taller than me and have bigger hands and feet than me, can you believe that?

Even though I might not like to admit it, you have a very special relationship with your Nini (my mom).  She thinks you never do anything wrong and you pretty much always get your way around her.  I figure it's just that special bond and I love that you love my mom so much.  She is pretty great!!

You love most people.  There are a few people that you seem hesitant of, but for the most part you are super friendly (especially if they have cool toys).  You love to watch Sid the Science Kid and Martha Speaks.  When we have rough days you love to watch Despicable Me and I do too.

I've started teaching you Bible verses and you have memorized our first one.  When I ask you what our Bible verse is you say, Teach me your way oh Lord.  Right now we're just doing one per month and you've already got it done!  You are one amazing little boy!

I love how you love your sister and you're not jealous of her.  When she cries you give her the binky, and sometimes shove it in her mouth even if she doesn't want it.  Even though it's been hard having two babies under two, I know you and Hayden will be great friends.  She loves to watch you play, but she's not quite used to your loudness:)

I am so excited to see what God has in store for your life!  I know that you are going to do great things and I pray that God's favor would rest on you and you would be blessed in anything you put your hands to.  I pray that daddy and I would encourage you to do God's will, even when it's hard.

We love you so very much!

Blogging......Then and Now

I remember when I started blogging, it was maybe a few years after we got married.  I would blog at work when I had some down time.  I worked for a construction company, so there would be really busy times and then really slow times.  During this time Josh and I were able to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.  I remember telling him that I didn't want kids around the time we first got married.  I wanted him all to myself and the little money we had left over after bills, should be spent on us!  My grandma would ask me when we were having children and I would just tell her that I was way too selfish to have children right now.  Then one day, there was this incredible urgency for a baby.  I had prayed that God would place the desire within me for a baby when the time was right, and He sure did.

I think back to what life (and blogging) used to be like and it is far different now.  Now, I blog on the off chance that both littles are sleeping and I'm just happen to have a bit of energy and not need a nap myself.  This blog is mainly for me, a place where I can share my thoughts and it helps me to remember what life was like.  I can't imagine my life any different than what it is now.  I used to have a clean house, I used to have laundry done and put away daily, there was absolutely no toys strewn across the living room, and the spare bedrooms in our house were just rooms to put stuff I didn't have a place for.  Now I have come to a place where I am at peace that the clean laundry generally stays in the basket and we have to go get it rather than it being folded nicely in drawers, my house is rarely as clean as I would like it to be, and there is chaos everywhere (and no bedroom to put the "stuff" I have no place for).  The difference is that I have two incredible children and a love I cannot explain for them.  Yes, we have bad days and sometimes many in a row.  Yes, sacrifice takes on a whole new meaning.  Yes, sickness is now passed between four people rather than two and yes I love every minute of it.  Being a mom is hard work and I don't think anyone but a mom can know just how hard it is.  There are days when I wonder if being a stay-at-home mom is for me.  Yes, I still look on Craigslist to see if maybe there is a part-time job that I would want to do.  But, then I remember what it was like when I was working and how that made my "mom" job even more work.  I'm so excited that I get to watch Hayden grow up.  When Jackson was 12 weeks I went back to work, so I missed out on a lot of that growing and changing time with him.

Jackson has been sick this week, so we've had a few "bad" days and I just needed to remind myself just how full and blessed I am.  Josh has had some rough days at work and I am so incredibly grateful that he works at a job that he doesn't love so I can be home with our children.  The sacrifice is huge but so is the blessing.