Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Not a Very Good Blogger

It seems that time has got away from me again and here I am with 3 weeks since my last post.  I feel like there's not much to say and so much to say all at the same time.  In just 6 days my baby boy will be 11 months old.  It's hard to believe how fast nearly 11 months has gone by.  We went to Target today and I got him a little crown in preparation for his big day next month.

We are not having a big party for him with tons of people.  It will just be family and a few close friends.  Some days I think it would be wonderful to have everyone we know come over and celebrate, but at the same time I think there are many more birthdays to come when we can have everyone we know come over.  What do you think??

Here's another picture that is just a cute one I want to share.  I'm sure we can all agree what an adorable baby I have on my hands!!  Have a great week:)

Friday, September 2, 2011

Finally Got the Nerve

Today, I finally got the nerve to e-mail the girl I used to work with.  I thought her and I were friends when I left, but apparently I thought we were better friends than she did.  We were pregnant at the same time and our babies are just 3 weeks apart.  I talked to Josh about it and he said I should just leave it alone and not try to contact her.  Maybe that is what I should have done, but I had been thinking about her the past few days.  I thought, what could it hurt.  If she doesn't respond, then I'm right where I started but if she responds; I don't know what I'd do.  It's not like she was my bestest friend and I don't know how I would cope without her.  I had worked with her for 5 years and we talked about everything together.  Maybe there is some comfort in talking to someone you don't really know, kinda like I do with you all.  I can tell the world wide web just about anything, but I struggle when it comes to telling someone I know well the details of my life.  Either way, I'm preparing myself for failure and hoping that maybe she'll be compelled to respond.  I included a few pics of Jackson and a short update on being a stay-at-home-mom.  When she had her baby, I had told her to let me know when she was feeling up to visitors to let me know so I could bring her a meal.  I never heard from her.  I e-mailed her a congratulations message when I heard that her baby was born and no response.  I thought that maybe it would be awkward to call someone and say, "hey, I'm ready for that meal you talked about."  So, I texted her when her baby was a few weeks old. I asked how she was feeling and if we could come over and visit.  No response.  I wouldn't have cared if she had said that she wasn't feeling up to visitors or even for her just to respond with the word no, but there was no response.  Even though I wanted to check on her and see how things were going, I also wanted another new mom to talk to.  I thought, we went through this whole pregnancy together and now you don't even want to talk to me?

I told her, there I days when I yearn for the praise of a boss for a job well done.  I know I get praise from Josh, but it's not the same.  There are days when I wonder if I made the right decision and maybe I should go back to work, but then I think of the alternative of being a SAHM.  I want to raise my baby, I don't want a daycare or grandparent to do what I know I feel I should be doing.  I've only been a SAHM for 3 months, so I'm sure that feeling of wonder will wear off.  I'm sure she's very busy.  I don't know if I was replaced or not.  Honestly, I don't think they needed to replace my position since there was a girl already hired before I left to cover during my maternity leave.  I have a lot of bitter feelings about the way the whole thing went down, but at the same time I want to make sure I did everything I could to make sure (at least on my end) things were right.

I'll keep you updated!