Wednesday, September 29, 2010

36 weeks and who's counting the days??

Well friends we've nearly made it to full-term.  Actually, that will be tomorrow.  I'm excited, but at the same time sad knowing that this adventure of pregnancy is nearly over.  Then again, I'll feel happier when I can sleep on my stomach, not have to literally roll out of the bed in the morning, and have a baby to hold:)  I know babies are much easier to care for while they are inside of you than they are outside of you, but I have some super cute clothes I'd like to try on this little one.  I haven't been keeping up with my pregnancy journal/Dear Baby Harris writings, so I figured I needed to keep up with my blog.  

In work news, I talked to my office manager about my concerns like not having anything to do after the baby comes since I've given everything to the new girl.  She agreed that it would be ok for me to take back my old responsibilities as soon as I'm feeling up to it.  My boss gave me a laptop so I could work from home, which I'm super excited about.  I'd like to work from home long-term, but we'll just have to see how it goes.  I know if the baby is super fussy then it would make working from home more difficult.  I'm believing that God will work a miracle and provide a way for me to be a stay-at-home-mom.

Our wonderful friends in Portland had their official church launch last Sunday and I so wish Josh and I could have been there.  Lately I've been thinking more and more about moving to Portland.  Things at work had been difficult, things at Josh's work had been difficult, and it seems like it would be nice to start over in a new place.  I'm sure our parents would have a very hard time with us moving away, but I want to be in the center of God's will and if He says go then we shall go.  I don't know if it's because of the launch or what, but Portland has been on my heart lately and my friends who are there have been on my heart.  I haven't said much to Josh about it.  I figure if it's the time for us to go God will reveal that to him since he is the priest of our home and God will confirm it with me.  I know Josh would go in a heartbeat.  He's not super close with his family, so that wouldn't be an issue for him.  The issue would be him having a job there.  I, on the other hand, am very close with my parents and I would miss them very much.  The rest of my family is in Texas, so we don't see them often anyway.  My dad travels to Portland quite a bit, so I'm sure I'd still get to see him a few times a year.  I would hate for our baby to not know his grandparents though.  I always pictured him as loving them and knowing them really well.  I know God has all things under control, regardless of my crazy emotions.

In other news, Josh went for his sleep test and the results were inconclusive.  He has to go back.  They did figure out he has sleep apnea, but they were unable to get the settings for the machine since he didn't sleep long enough.  So, I have to endure one more night without my husband.  I'm hoping it's fairly soon so I don't have to worry about going into labor:)   According to the doctor I'm not dilated yet.  I was secretly hoping that I would be showing some sign of labor, but no.  The girl I work with says she has a feeling that I'm going to have to be induced.  I told her to take that back right now!  I'll keep you updated with my progress.

Monday, September 20, 2010

35 Weeks and Stuggling a Bit.......

For those of you who have had children, at what point in pregnancy did you feel like an egg with legs?  I've been struggling to get around lately, especially to change positions in bed.  I never knew it would be that difficult!  If you add to the discomfort a husband who snores then you know that's a recipe for diaster.  Josh went to the sleep doctor last week and did the sleep test the very same day.  He had to stay there overnight, so I wasn't too thrilled about that since it was our first night apart since we've been married.  Suddenly the house became extremely quiet and I became not so concerned with saving electricity and I left many lights on.  We think he has sleep apnea.  When we first got married I noticed that he would stop breathing for more than a few seconds but I never really thought anything of it.  He always snores when he sleeps on his back, but now he's snoring even on his side.  I feel terrible asking him numerous times throughout the night/early morning to turn over, but I would lie there awake if I didn't.  Sometimes I go in the other room or he will after I've asked him more than twice to roll over.  The funny thing is, when he's in the other room he's not snoring!!  What is with that??  Anyway, we'll find out Friday the results of his sleep test.  The technician said she wasn't sure if she was able to get enough information for the doctor, so he might have to go back for another sleep test.  I've been praying that they have all the information they need and we can get the CPAP machine on Friday so both of us can get some good sleep.  He works very hard and is under a lot of stress so it's hard when he wakes up after sleeping for 8 hours and still feels exhausted.  Hopefully the machine will help us both:)  This whole situation isn't helped by my insomnia.  Since I'm awake most of the night I can hear the moment poor Josh starts snoring and I'm very quick to tap him or gently nudge him to let him know.  He's such an awesome husband!

Maybe this insomnia is to help prepare me for what is to come, I don't know.  I'm praying for the ability to sleep through the night soon.  I'm just exhausted and each morning the thought of going to work is just discouraging.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to get a laptop from work soon and start working from home at least a few days a week.  At least on those days I won't have to get ready and be presentable:)  I'm praying for energy and the ability to get through these last few weeks with a smile on my face.  I really don't want to be a "debbie downer", but that is really hard sometimes.  Yesterday I was sitting on the couch with Josh watching football and I just started crying because I was so uncomfortable.  I guess its' just one of those things that us pregnant ladies have to go through.  Less than 5 weeks to go and I'm so so very excited!

Monday, September 13, 2010 Update!

Well, I had been waiting on entering another post so I could put my baby shower pics up, but seeing as I'm pretty bored at work I thought I'd better post an update.  Our baby shower was wonderful!  We had about 40 people at my parents' house to shower us with love.  Of course I had a hot flash while opening gifts, but what can you do?  Now we're just working on getting the remaining stuff we need.  

Today I'm 34 wks 4 days preggo.  I'm definitely more uncomfortable then I've been this whole time.  I am so thankful that I do not have crazy swollen ankles and feet.  My feet are already chubby enough:)  The baby is moving around all the time and sometimes it feels like he's trying to set himself free.  We still don't have a name officially picked out for him.  Since we found out we were having a boy we have liked the name Jaxon and we could call him Jax for short.  I still like that name, but this is a huge decision.  I also really like Bennett and I even like Ben for short.  Josh still has heart set on Jaxon and I'm not sure I can let him down.  I really do like both names.  The girl I work with has know the name of her baby since before she was pregnant.  I've been praying for God to give us a name for our baby.  He did it back in the Bible days and I know he can do it now!

This Sunday was my last Sunday singing on the worship team until after the baby comes.  It was a bit of a relief and a bit sad all at the same time.  I enjoy being on the worship team, but it has been a bit more difficult recently and I'm always nervous that I'm going to have a hot flash while I'm on the stage.  Those hot flashes can come on at any time and I'm not a huge fan of them!!    Josh has been a huge help at home since I'm just not feeling up to doing much lately.  I keep waiting for the "nesting" phase to kick in and my burst of energy to start but nothing so far.  We have the baby's room all ready to go, I think.  Not that he'll be spending much time in there in the beginning anyway.  I'm really trying hard to not be a complainer during this pregnancy and I think my co-workers can see that.  One of the girls I work with even said that I'm just happy Michelle, truckin' along:)  

We hired a new girl in the office to take care of my stuff while I'm gone and initially I didn't like the idea of giving away all of my duties but after a good cry and talking to Josh I realize that someone has to do the work while I'm gone.  I just have a really hard time letting stuff go and delegating, especially when someone doesn't do things EXACTLY how I do.  I've had to learn to let go of things and if they're not done exactly my way, then as long as they're done right it's ok.  It was an incredibly insecure feeling knowing that you're basically showing someone else how to do your job and then in the mean time what are you supposed to do?  I guess blog:)  I talked to the office manager and told her I don't have a problem giving away my stuff as long as she realizes that I don't have much to do after than.  There are a few things that I'll still take care of, but for the most part I don't have much of a job now.  It seems like I had to give everything away a bit early, but I was doing what I was told to do.  I rest in the arms of Christ and I know that in all this craziness at work He has a plan.  I wish I knew what the plan was, but at least I know He's handling it all for me.  I have to keep telling myself that it's not good for the baby for me to be worrying, but it's not good pregnant or not to worry.  I continue to speak exceeding and abundant blessing over Josh and his career as well as direction as the spiritual leader of our home.  I love that husband of mine, he is dreamy!!