Tuesday, June 21, 2011


So, now that I'm staying home I have been trying to save money any way that I can.  I'm definitely couponing more and it's not as difficult as I thought it would be.  I'm no extreme couponer but I try to save us money when I can.  I signed up with vocalpoint.com and they have giveaways.  All you have to do it log in once you've received the giveaway and let them know what you think.  This is the first time I've tried it, so I can't tell you just yet that I've had a great experience but it's worth a try.

Here's the link:

Father's Day 2011

For Josh

This was a very special Father's Day for you; your first with your son.  I'm so blessed to have such an amazing husband and Jackson is so blessed to have you as his father.  It truly seems like only yesterday when he was born and here we are with a nearly 8 month old baby.
I love how Jackson gets so excited to see you when  you come home from work.  I love that you tell me to tell him  you love him when you leave for work.  Yesterday at church, you wiped the long string of drool off his face with your bare hand and didn't think anything of it.  I love that.  Our baby boy is so so lucky to have you.  I love that you want to be the best father you can be to him.

Jackson and I are beyond blessed.  You are absolutely wonderful!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

I wish somebody would have told me.......(venting alert)

how tough it is (some days) to be a good mom and wife.  I am really struggling with this today.  I know I need to be respectful of my husband.  He is the head of our home and I love him dearly.  There are just some days when he drives me crazy and I wonder if I'm falling short of my job description.  He works long hours and very hard so I can stay home and I am forever grateful to him for that.  There are some days when I think he thinks I've got it made staying home.  I've asked him, "do you think I just sit around the house all day doing nothing but watching tv"?  He always says no, but I wonder what he really thinks.  Last night, he had a bit of a rough day and so did I (Jackson didn't have his usual long naps so he was a bit fussy) and this combination is a recipe for disaster!  We found out that his transmission might be going out. We just paid off his car and we were so excited to have no car payment for a while.  He has an older car so we knew there would be repairs to keep the car up, but we were not expecting to replace the transmission!!  Then he only had 3 customers that day, so commission wise that wasn't a great day.  To top it all off, he didn't turn sharp enough when he was backing out at work and accidentally hit a motorcycle that was parked next to him.  I know you must be thinking, that sure sounds like an awful day!  He came home, we all had dinner together, then he assumed the position on the couch to watch tv.  I wanted to go on a short walk with Jackson (this absolutely helps to distract him until it's time to go to bed).  Josh didn't want to go.  I told him he didn't have to, but I thought that since he doesn't see either of us much in the day he should want to go.  He didn't go.  He stayed home and watched some "Cops" type show (which I absolutely hate).  Needless to say, I was upset when we got back from our walk.  Even though I was upset, I just told Josh that I was disappointed that he didn't want to spend time with us and left it at that.  I also told him that I would have even sat outside on the patio with him, if he didn't want to walk.  This is normally Jackson's fussy time, he's not hungry, and he's just starting to get tired and bored with all of his toys.  Now ladies, I watch A Baby Story and all those baby TLC shows.  I see all these husbands missing their children all day and not being able to wait to see them in the evening.  Now I know this is television, but sometimes I don't feel like Josh wants to be around Jackson and I in the evening.  Josh works hard and long hours and I can absolutely understand the desire to vegetate in front of the tv for a bit in the evening.  99% of the time I put Jackson to bed, so Josh gets at least half an hour of watching whatever he wants, if not more.  So, I put Jackson to bed last night and Josh and I pretty much say nothing else to each other the rest of the night.  I asked him if he had anything he'd like to talk about and he said no.  I know he would never ask me why I was upset or if I was okay.  He's just not like that.  If it was up to Josh, we would have an argument/disagreement in the evening, go to bed and not say a thing to each other, and get up in the morning and act as if nothing happened the night before.  Is this how all men are???

I know, these are things I should pray about.  I know, I should just trust God and everything will be taken care of.  He's never forsaken us and He won't start now.  I know this is part of the growing pains in being a family of three.  This to shall pass, right?  I guess I just need to vent my frustration and not feel guilty about it.  I knew it would be tough becoming a mom.  It was hard just trying to be a good wife, I knew it would be hard to juggle everything.  I feel like everyday I'm trying to prove to Josh why it's good for me to be home.  I know I don't need to, but I just feel that way.  Am I crazy?!?!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Things I Want to Remember.......

I went to a baby shower this weekend and we all had to write some piece of advice on cards for the new mom.  I totally blanked.  I'm always asking Josh, "what one piece of advice would you give new parents?"  Normally he has some silly response, but this time he had such a great nugget of wisdom.  He said, "Everyone will offer their opinion.  As new parents, there will be so many people who want to give you their advice or their solution to your problem/issue.  Just remember that you are the parents of this baby, you are the ones that God has hand picked for this child.  Trust Him and you'll always know the right thing to do."  I wanted to cry when he said that.  I totally should have written that on the card at the baby shower and I'm so bummed I didn't.  It is so true.  Especially as first time parents, so many people are eager to share their experiences and I was very eager to seek out wisdom from other moms.  At the end of the day it's just Josh and I with our baby and I trust that we'll know what to do.  I was talking with someone at church the other day and I was considering the cry-it-out method for Jackson.  At the time, he had been waking up around 3am to play.  She told me how happy she was when she used the cry-it-out method.  The first day was hard, but it got better from there.  But she also said to me, "Michelle, you'll know the right thing to do.  Whether it's letting Jackson cry-it-out or not, you'll know."  I felt so confident in my mothering skills when she said that.  It doesn't matter what anyone else does with their baby, I will know the right thing to do for MY baby!  I know we'll make mistakes as parents and there will be moments when Jackson doesn't like us, but I'm confident that God will give us wisdom as we need it.  

Since Jackson has been born, I'm always thinking of things that I want to remind myself of when we have another baby or things that Jackson does that I don't want to forget.  I'm finally going to write them all out, I'm sure that once I do there will be more things I think of:)

Michelle, never forget:
*The first two weeks after having a baby are the hardest.  You will cry a lot and feel really overwhelmed, but it absolutely gets better.

*Also during the first two weeks, you will probably want to quit nursing- don't do it!!  It gets so much better.  Jackson is 7 months and it makes me sad to think I'm going to quit nursing soon.
*Just when you think you have a schedule mastered, Jackson will decide that he wants to change that.  Don't stress about it, just work around it.
*So many people will offer you advice.  Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's ok to smile and nod:)
*Josh is an amazing dad.  You couldn't have a better husband/dad to Jackson

*Just relax.  You stressed about a lot of things and did all the things you said you would never do.  Everything will be ok!
*You love the way Jackson holds your pinky finger when he nurses.  One day you won't be nursing him, so cherish every moment!
*His sweet dimples and the way he scrunches his nose when he smiles so big.
*How he gets so excited when daddy gets home.  He squeals and waves his arms:)
*His sweet feet!  They still fit in your hand.  One day they will be big and stinky:(
*He loves you so much.  He cries when you leave his sight, he loves to sit in the highchair while you cook and you explain to him all that you're doing like it's a cooking show.  
*He's not really sure about feeding himself, but he sure enjoys playing with his food.

I love this baby more than I ever imagined I would.  I know that there are things everyday that I want to remember about him that I will probably forget.  Jackson is such an amazing baby!  I thank God everyday that He blessed us with such an amazing child.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Segment on the Today Show- I don't like my child

I saw this segment on the Today Show this morning.  It was about a mom who admitted that she didn't like her daughter.  At first I absolutely thought it was crazy, but then she explained that from the moment her daughter was born she was more difficult than a normal baby would be.  Now, I can't imagine ever saying that about Jackson, but there are rough days when we might struggle more than a normal day.  I guess for this mom, she was having rough days every day.  Come to find out, her daughter did have some developmental delays and some medical issue that I can't remember right now.  This whole situation made me think back to when Jackson was born.  So many friends of mine were having babies around that time and everyone was posting on facebook about how they were totally in love with their babies from day one.  I will admit to you that I did not feel "totally in love" with my baby from day one.  I had endured over 24 hours of labor only to end up with a c-section and I was totally exhausted.  When my c-section was over and I saw Josh and Jackson in the recovery room, I remember feeling like I should want to hold my baby immediately but all I could focus on was keeping my eyes open.

I did not have that instant bond with Jackson.  He was fussy, but not abnormally so.  Josh was a huge help so I was able to rest, but there is no rest like being in your own home and bed.  Although I loved this sweet baby and was totally amazed at this amazing gift God had blessed us with, I just didn't feel that bond with him.  I think being at the hospital was stressful, we weren't able to rest, but it was nice to have all the nurses there to help us learn how to breastfeed.  Over the next few weeks, when the visitors had left and it was just me and Baby H, I began to feel that bond.  It seemed like every day I loved him more, it became like this crazy kind of love that I couldn't explain.  I say all of this because I can understand part of where this woman is coming from.  Some people have that instant bond and are instantly in love with their babies, but it may not be that way for everyone.  I sure hope I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Now I absolutely love Jackson and I can't imagine life without him.  The three of us are a family and it feels like the perfect family for now, until we have more babies (which I can't wait to do):)

I absolutely love this sweet baby that God has blessed us with.  I'm crazy in love with my husband for working so hard so I can stay home with our baby!  God is so good!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Oh Baby, Oh Baby

Dear Blog Friends, I am so sorry for being so out of touch these past few months.  Between working, being a mom and wife and everything else I needed to be, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Since I last wrote, I started a new job at our church, worked there for 5 months and now I have quit.  Josh and I are having to make some sacrifices for this, but we know it's best for our family.  I have wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom since I can remember.  I remember going to school thinking, "why am I getting my degree, when all I want to do it be a stay-at-home-mom".  God has truly blessed us.  Josh got a promotion you could say.  He now works commission rather than salary.  The only issue with that is that he can have a great month, or a really bad month.  So far we've been blessed with some good months and we're placing our trust in God for the months to come.  I cannot begin to describe how grateful and blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband who works so hard for us!  

So this has been my first week staying home and so far, I love it.  I know there will be days when it won't be fun and there will be days when Jackson is teething and super fussy, but I know this is what God wants for my family.  I had been feeling like I wasn't being the mom I should be and the wife I should be.  Now I definitely feel more balanced, although I feel like I'm the schedule nazi:)  All of the things I said I would never do with my child, I now do.  I'm definitely planning on staying more up to date on here.  I've missed you all and I'm so excited to catch up with all that has happened in your lives!

Talk to ya soon,