Thursday, June 9, 2011

Segment on the Today Show- I don't like my child

I saw this segment on the Today Show this morning.  It was about a mom who admitted that she didn't like her daughter.  At first I absolutely thought it was crazy, but then she explained that from the moment her daughter was born she was more difficult than a normal baby would be.  Now, I can't imagine ever saying that about Jackson, but there are rough days when we might struggle more than a normal day.  I guess for this mom, she was having rough days every day.  Come to find out, her daughter did have some developmental delays and some medical issue that I can't remember right now.  This whole situation made me think back to when Jackson was born.  So many friends of mine were having babies around that time and everyone was posting on facebook about how they were totally in love with their babies from day one.  I will admit to you that I did not feel "totally in love" with my baby from day one.  I had endured over 24 hours of labor only to end up with a c-section and I was totally exhausted.  When my c-section was over and I saw Josh and Jackson in the recovery room, I remember feeling like I should want to hold my baby immediately but all I could focus on was keeping my eyes open.



I did not have that instant bond with Jackson.  He was fussy, but not abnormally so.  Josh was a huge help so I was able to rest, but there is no rest like being in your own home and bed.  Although I loved this sweet baby and was totally amazed at this amazing gift God had blessed us with, I just didn't feel that bond with him.  I think being at the hospital was stressful, we weren't able to rest, but it was nice to have all the nurses there to help us learn how to breastfeed.  Over the next few weeks, when the visitors had left and it was just me and Baby H, I began to feel that bond.  It seemed like every day I loved him more, it became like this crazy kind of love that I couldn't explain.  I say all of this because I can understand part of where this woman is coming from.  Some people have that instant bond and are instantly in love with their babies, but it may not be that way for everyone.  I sure hope I'm not the only one that feels this way.



Now I absolutely love Jackson and I can't imagine life without him.  The three of us are a family and it feels like the perfect family for now, until we have more babies (which I can't wait to do):)


I absolutely love this sweet baby that God has blessed us with.  I'm crazy in love with my husband for working so hard so I can stay home with our baby!  God is so good!

1 comment:

  1. glad you're blogging again! theres a lot of truth in this post, I felt the same way when Everett was born. I expected that "wave of overwhelming love" to come over me, but it didn't happen. It grew. I think thats normal, but no one says so. I definitely think Dads feel that wave of love, and bond instantly, but they also aren't exhausted and in pain!

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