Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I have been following The Pifer's Journey Through Infertility blog for a while now and I just love Tiffany's positive outlook and she is so encouraging.  Today she is giving away an adorable onesie.  Check it out- http://piferreviews.blogspot.com/.  I know some of you are not parents quite yet, but how cute would this be on your future baby??  I love what it says and I'm hoping to one day put it on my future "bundle":)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Oh, the Drama of a Washing Machine

Well friends, I have officially lost it.  I cried yesterday because of the washing machine.  It's a bit of a long story, but I'm going to tell it anyway.  When DH and I moved into our house it came with new appliances, including a washing machine and dryer.  These were GE brand appliances.  They are not the top of the line, but they worked considering we didn't have any appliances coming from an apartment.  This washing machine has driven me crazy from day one.  DH wears black dress pants to work everyday (this is part of a uniform type outfit).  When ever I would wash his pants there would be this white residue all over them.  I started setting the machine on the 2nd rinse cycle and it still has not helped.  The "super" spin cycle doesn't help either, I'm sure (wish I could change that).  We have had the repair person come out and take a look at it and he said he'd never seen that before, but that he thought it was because we have a water softener and I was using too much soap.  So, I got special dark clothes soap and used so very little of it.  I want his clothes to smell at least a little clean.  All of this is to say, yesterday while doing laundry his pants came out with all this white stuff on them and I lost it.  I told DH how I hated the washing machine, how we needed a new one that worked properly and was able to clean all sorts of fabric, colors, and do it with soft water.  Oh, how I despise this machine!!  You shouldn't have the clothes come out looking worse than when they went in, isn't that the purpose of a washing machine?? 

I was sharing my story with the girl I work with and she suggested washing the pants inside out.  I'm definitely trying that next time.  I know I'm super emotional, I'm super emotional when I'm not pregnant.  Poor DH, he has sure been a trooper through all of this.  He's a wonderful husband and just a great man.  I always tell him how I'm so thankful that he chose me, I'm thankful that God placed us in eachother's lives at the perfect time. 

I just wanted to share with you a bit of my weekend and I hope you had a great weekend:)

Monday, April 19, 2010

A HUGE Fight

Have you ever gotten in one of those knock-out brawl type fights with your spouse or significant other? DH and I have had just a few in our nearly 4 years of marriage, but when we do boy are they HUGE! Well, Sunday of all days seems to be our day, yes we had a huge fight. The best part is that I'm trying really hard to remember what my point was in the whole thing. It started at church. The pastor was talking and DH kept nudging me, so I shoved his arm away. I was trying to pay attention and I thought DH was just trying to be funny. I knew in an instant that it was a bit rough, so I tried to hold his hand right away. It was my way of apologizing without saying the words:) We got in the car and I knew I had hurt his feelings, and he told me I had. I apologized, then I made the worst mistake ever- I asked him what he was doing. He never nudges me like that, so I wasn't sure what message he was trying to convey. From there, the argument escalated and got more and more heated. We had to stop at Sam's Club on the way home and I told him I'm wasn't going in there like this and he said, "Fine"! Then he left and went in there without me. I was IRATE at this point! How dare you leave me hear in a heap of tears in the hot car by myself (by the way, he left the keys and I went in and had a drink and pretzel and cheese while waiting for him)!! Now I know that pregnancy can really affect your emotions and hormones, but that didn't help me to be any less angry. If anything, I was more angry because he wasn't being extra nice considering my "condition".

The car ride home was more yelling and tears. I told him to call his parents and mine to tell them not to come over for lunch (we were having lunch for everyone since our backyard now has grass, hooray!!). He said he wasn't calling them. Eventually we made up, I'm not really sure how. I know it's not good for me to be that upset and have my blood pressure through the roof, and it was so hard to calm down. Please tell me I'm not the only crazy pregnant woman out there. He made me so so mad! I never would hurt him (though I might have thought about it), I need him and I know our baby needs him. He's a good man. I just hate that when he gets mad all he wants to do is retreat to his man cave and all I want to do is hunt him down to "talk it out". It's strange that God made us the way he did,

In other news, we did get grass for the back yard this weekend. All that is needed now is the rock. How exciting!! I'll try to remember to post some pictures.

Hope you guys have a great week!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Well, we've made it to 13 weeks and I'm definitely feeling more excited now. After our wonderful doctor's appointment last week I even went with my mom to Pottery Barn Kids to look at baby furniture. Up until now, I haven't allowed myself to go there. I haven't looked at baby stuff at all. Last time I was looking at Babies 'R' Us online everyday at work. Although I feel more relaxed and I am becoming confident that things will be different this time; it's hard to let myself go there. I know, I know, trust God, lean on Him and He will give you strength. I know God is not up there waiting to say, "gotcha". But at the same time it is difficult to believe that in October we'll be bringing home a baby. Some days it's just not real and other days it's all I can think about.

I read online that the baby may be able to hear mom's voice during week 13 so I said hi to him/her. It's almost like I don't want to get too attached to this baby, but then am I doing a disservice to this baby by not bonding with it? Maybe when I feel it move, then I'll be able to know everything is okay, but then it's like what's next? First it was when I see it on the ultrasound screen, then it was when we have the 12 week appointment and hear the heart beat. I'm definitely praying for a change of heart at this point. I need to pray that God would restore my joy. Overall I'm pretty happy, except when my husband is snoring like a bear (that will be another post to come).

I can't remember if I said it before, but DH and I are thinking that this baby is a boy (my mom too). The other night I asked him if he really had a feeling it was a boy or if he just thought it was a boy because that is what he wanted. He didn't really give me a straight answer, but he did tell me that he wants a boy. I asked him if he'd be upset if it was a girl and he said of course not. I guess most men want to have a boy for their first baby, so we shall find out come mid May. Either way, I just want to have a healthy, full-term baby.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sleeping with a Bear

We've been staying at my parents' house since they are out of town and they needed someone to stay with the dogs. I normally don't mind too much because I love the dogs and they live closer to my work than I do. The only issue I have is the sleeping arrangements. DH and I have a king size, very nice bed at home. When we stay at my parents' house we stay in the guest bedroom because he would have issues sleeping in my parents' bed (I would have the same issue at my in-laws house). Last night we were in bed and the "bear" starts making his appearance. I already have a difficult time sleeping there just because it's not MY bed, then add the bear on top of everything else. DH turns into a bear at night. He makes all kinds of noise!! Last night I told him to turn over (usually that helps) and he said his back was hurting and he would "try to not snore". No such luck. Finally at 4:30am I went to sleep in my parent's room because I couldn't take it any more. I get up around 5:30am to get ready for work and went back in the guest room to get my clothes and lookey there, DH sleeping on his stomach, not snoring at all and I wasn't even there to enjoy it:)

Monday, April 12, 2010

12 Weeks!!

Well, here we are at a little over 12 weeks. I'm so so excited!! I had my 12 week doctor's appointment on Friday. I had been praying since my last appointment that they would be able to find the heartbeat quickly and sure enough as soon as the nurse put the doppler on my belly we heard the heartbeat. I had been very nervous about this appointment. It's very hard to put the negative things you've been through behind you and think totally positive. I was so thankful that Josh went with me. I know it was the enemy who kept putting thoughts in my head and I know we serve a God who is so much bigger than my negative thoughts. Take captive every thought, right? Now I feel more comfortable about telling people.

I keep looking at my belly to see if it's getting bigger, I'm pretty sure it is because I can't button any of my pants:) But I don't have the infamous "baby bump" quite yet. I've been feeling really good these past 2 weeks. I'm thankful the nausea is gone, I still have the exhaustion but I can handle that. I'm still not eating meat and I still have many food aversions, but hopefully they will get better. Yesterday we had chinese food and I thought I wanted shrimp. Then they brought me the shrimp and I realized I did not want shrimp:)

So far, things are going really well. I am amazed each day at how good God is. I know He has handpicked this baby for us. I know there can be numerous complications in any pregnancy, but I'm believing that this pregnancy is going to be different, this time there will be no complications and we will bring home a healthy, full term baby in October!!