A New Adventure- Being a Family of Five

Well, we've made it to 13 weeks and I'm definitely feeling more excited now. After our wonderful doctor's appointment last week I even went with my mom to Pottery Barn Kids to look at baby furniture. Up until now, I haven't allowed myself to go there. I haven't looked at baby stuff at all. Last time I was looking at Babies 'R' Us online everyday at work. Although I feel more relaxed and I am becoming confident that things will be different this time; it's hard to let myself go there. I know, I know, trust God, lean on Him and He will give you strength. I know God is not up there waiting to say, "gotcha". But at the same time it is difficult to believe that in October we'll be bringing home a baby. Some days it's just not real and other days it's all I can think about.

I read online that the baby may be able to hear mom's voice during week 13 so I said hi to him/her. It's almost like I don't want to get too attached to this baby, but then am I doing a disservice to this baby by not bonding with it? Maybe when I feel it move, then I'll be able to know everything is okay, but then it's like what's next? First it was when I see it on the ultrasound screen, then it was when we have the 12 week appointment and hear the heart beat. I'm definitely praying for a change of heart at this point. I need to pray that God would restore my joy. Overall I'm pretty happy, except when my husband is snoring like a bear (that will be another post to come).

I can't remember if I said it before, but DH and I are thinking that this baby is a boy (my mom too). The other night I asked him if he really had a feeling it was a boy or if he just thought it was a boy because that is what he wanted. He didn't really give me a straight answer, but he did tell me that he wants a boy. I asked him if he'd be upset if it was a girl and he said of course not. I guess most men want to have a boy for their first baby, so we shall find out come mid May. Either way, I just want to have a healthy, full-term baby.