Blogging......Then and Now

I remember when I started blogging, it was maybe a few years after we got married.  I would blog at work when I had some down time.  I worked for a construction company, so there would be really busy times and then really slow times.  During this time Josh and I were able to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.  I remember telling him that I didn't want kids around the time we first got married.  I wanted him all to myself and the little money we had left over after bills, should be spent on us!  My grandma would ask me when we were having children and I would just tell her that I was way too selfish to have children right now.  Then one day, there was this incredible urgency for a baby.  I had prayed that God would place the desire within me for a baby when the time was right, and He sure did.

I think back to what life (and blogging) used to be like and it is far different now.  Now, I blog on the off chance that both littles are sleeping and I'm just happen to have a bit of energy and not need a nap myself.  This blog is mainly for me, a place where I can share my thoughts and it helps me to remember what life was like.  I can't imagine my life any different than what it is now.  I used to have a clean house, I used to have laundry done and put away daily, there was absolutely no toys strewn across the living room, and the spare bedrooms in our house were just rooms to put stuff I didn't have a place for.  Now I have come to a place where I am at peace that the clean laundry generally stays in the basket and we have to go get it rather than it being folded nicely in drawers, my house is rarely as clean as I would like it to be, and there is chaos everywhere (and no bedroom to put the "stuff" I have no place for).  The difference is that I have two incredible children and a love I cannot explain for them.  Yes, we have bad days and sometimes many in a row.  Yes, sacrifice takes on a whole new meaning.  Yes, sickness is now passed between four people rather than two and yes I love every minute of it.  Being a mom is hard work and I don't think anyone but a mom can know just how hard it is.  There are days when I wonder if being a stay-at-home mom is for me.  Yes, I still look on Craigslist to see if maybe there is a part-time job that I would want to do.  But, then I remember what it was like when I was working and how that made my "mom" job even more work.  I'm so excited that I get to watch Hayden grow up.  When Jackson was 12 weeks I went back to work, so I missed out on a lot of that growing and changing time with him.

Jackson has been sick this week, so we've had a few "bad" days and I just needed to remind myself just how full and blessed I am.  Josh has had some rough days at work and I am so incredibly grateful that he works at a job that he doesn't love so I can be home with our children.  The sacrifice is huge but so is the blessing.