A Little Bit of This and That......

I have so many things that I want to remember, so I'm just going to put them all in one post and maybe one day I'll separate them:)

Hayden is 4 months old.  I can see the hospital where she was born from our backyard and it's crazy to me that just 4 months ago we were in that hospital with our beautiful baby girl who slept for what seemed like 48 hours!  She is smiling and just started sucking on her two middle fingers this week.  She has never really loved the pacifier like Jackson and she is always sucking on her hands.  She finally figured out which fingers she liked best.  We won't go to the doctor for another few weeks, but I'm confident that she is gaining weight appropriately.  She only nurses about 5 times per day, but she must be getting what she needs!  Just this week she started sleeping close to 12 hours at night.  I was thankful, but a little concerned at first.  Jackson never did and still doesn't do that:)

Jackson is 22 months old.  I cannot believe that he will be 2 in October.  It just doesn't seem right that my sweet boy would grow up so fast.  He sings Happy Birthday, ABCs, and he loves to sing worship songs in the car!  He has a toddler bible that we read to him at night.  We've read it so many times that he has it memorized.  At the end of the book it talks about Jesus dying on the cross and rising from the grave.  We have a cross hanging in our living room and the other day, out of no where, he says, "oh, the cross, the cross!" pointing to our cross hanging on the wall.  I am confident that my son has a special relationship with Jesus.  I have always felt he would do something special for the Kingdom of God.  It brings tears to my eyes when I hear him singing along to Forever Reign and I know it must do the same for our savior.  Jackson has memorized his first bible verse "Teach me your way O Lord".  We haven't got to the Psalm 27:11 part.  Even though I think we are in the middle of the incredible, awesome, terrific twos; I feel like Jackson is growing and changing so much.  We definitely have our rough days and days when I feel like I have to get away from this kid, but there are so many awesome days to make up for the rough ones.

We just got back from our first vacation with children.  There was A LOT of crying on the way there!  We went to San Diego for my brother's wedding, so it wasn't far but 7 hours traveling is a lot for our toddler and baby.  We went to SeaWorld and Jackson had a pretty good time.  We didn't get to see any shows (the lines were so long), but we did see lots of animals and I think he liked it.  Josh got some fish for him to feed the sea lions, not sure if he's a fan of that or not but he loved looking at them through the glass.

Josh and I figured out a system and we had a better drive back.  Jackson absolutely loved the beach, especially the sand:)  When we left the wedding, he had sand in his ears, nose and hair. Our schedule was out the window on this trip, but we quickly got back to it when we got home.

I'm going through a humbling experience with God.  These past few weeks have been tough and I've been questioning if I should continue to be a stay-at-home-mom.  It seems like whenever things get tough financially, I immediately start looking for part-time jobs instead of trusting in God and trusting in what He said to me two years ago.  I remember how heavy on my heart it was to be a stay-at-home-mom and I remember so clearly feeling released from my job.  I don't like to share with close friends or family the things we go through until there's resolution, but it's therapeutic for me to write about it here:)  I know that must sound crazy!  I have this picture in my mind of God bringing me to my knees and I keep trying to stand up, but there are things that happen that keep pushing me back to my knees.  I think these things will continue to happen until I find rest being on my knees before a most holy God, a God who loves me more than I will ever know, a God who has never left me alone and who has always provided for my family and I.  I don't know why it's so hard to rest in Him sometimes, but today I'm doing it.  I'm resting in the will of the Almighty, Omnipresent, Loving, Merciful God who has never left me!