Have you ever had one of those days where you wonder about God? Do you wonder if He REALLY hears you, if He cares about you enough to answer your prayers, if you put your trust in Him will you end up crushed? I've been struggling with these questions over the past few weeks. We just finished a 21 day fast at church and during this fast I was believing God for healthy babies for my DH and I, for my cousin and his wife, and for a co-worker and her husband. My cousin's wife lost her baby girl around 20 weeks. I know we both endured a loss, but I pray that neither of us will go through the loss of a baby, embryo, fetus (whatever you want to call it) ever again. I know we have learned things through the loss that we never wanted to learn and I believe that something good will come of it.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28.
I had my miscarriage in November and I didn't want to get pregnant at least for 6 months, but now it's like my mission in life is to get pregnant and carry a healthy baby to term. So, I bought an ovulation predictor kit last week. I started using it this week since I should ovulate around today, but no smiley face has shown up (indicating ovulation). I was afraid of this. I'll continue using the kit through the rest of the week just to make sure that I'm not a late ovulator now. I feel like my hormones are crazy since the m/c, which is part of the reason I purchased the OPK. My dilemma is: do I go to the doctor if I find that I'm not ovulating or do I continue to trust in God? I don't know how long it takes to get your hormones back to normal after a m/c. Does anyone have an idea? My doctor told me after I have one normal cycle we can try getting pregnant again. I've had 2, so this is the first one trying. Then I start worrying about, what if I'm getting pregnant too early? What if I have another miscarriage? What if I'm just not meant to be a mom? There are so many questions!! But I am trusting in God, I know that He knows what's best for me and my husband. He sees the whole picture and we only see a small portion of it. God has blessed me exceedingly and abundantly and I know He has much more in store for us and for you.
Lord, I lay my life at your feet. Please let me be pleasing to you. I will glorify you in everything I do and I know when we have our baby we will raise him or her to love you.
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Oh sweetie, I am so very sorry for your loss. You will be added to my prayer list.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, it can take yur body up to six months to regulate after having a m/c. But, the fact that you've already had a period (anovulatory or not) is a good sign! Chances are you are ovulating and your body is getting back into the swing of things.
If you find out that you aren't ovulating after this cycle, talk to your dr. Relying on God is a fabulous thing, if you are strong enough to do it. But, sometimes science needs to intervene. If it weren't for science I wouldn't be pregnant right now.
Also, thank you for the prayers for my mom. It's amazing what the power of a blog can do. To have someone praying for you who you've never even met is so heart warming.
I wish I had some answers for all of your questions, but I have all of the same questions, too.
ReplyDeleteIf your dr will meet with you, I would talk to him/her. The practice I am with will not discuss infertility with someone my age until she has been trying for a full year, which might as well be an eternity. I would definitely be as proactive as possible, but at the same time, I understand the need to not push it and just trust that it will happen when it should.
Thank you so much for your prayers for us. You have no idea how much it means to me to know that someone is praying for me even when I can't.