Update After the Specialist

Well after a bit of a stressful wait at the perinatologist's office, I can say that we have some comfort.  Our baby boy does have slightly dilated kidneys, although the doctor did mention that she isn't worried about them.  They are still functioning and are not blocked.  She said that most of the time this clears up on its own before delivery.  There was no abnormal amount of fluid in his lateral ventricles, but he did have some chroid plexus cysts.  She said that these will also most likely clear up before delivery or even my next ultrasound.  The doctor did give us some comfort in that our baby looks completely healthy right now.  All of his other measurements are perfectly normal and he was moving around all over.  Both of these issues are considered markers for down syndrome, so she did offer us an amnio.  I have known all along that I didn't want an amnio.  First of all, it's incredibly scary for me and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my baby because of a test.  Josh and I are confident that our baby is completely fine.  I've been praying that he would be in perfect health since I found out I was pregnant.  I honestly don't feel like there is anything wrong with him, though my emotions get the best of me sometimes.  There are moments when I feel like it would be ok if he had DS and then I feel like I'm letting God down.  Like I'm not trusting Him like I should.  The doctor mentioned getting an amnio as soon as possible if we were considering termination, but that isn't an option for us.  

I knew from the beginning of this pregnancy that this baby was going to be completely healthy, in every way, no genetic issues.  I have to continue having that faith.  I remember our pastor telling us that verse in 1 John I think, that perfect love casts out all fear.  So, each day I'm praying for a new dose of peace to get through the day and have confidence that my God is in control.  He loves me and He loves our baby boy.  Before our baby was formed He knew him, how awesome is that.  I'm believing that He has great things in store for our sweet baby boy.

In other news, I would love to hear from you all regarding this crazy hunger I have all day long.  How do you cope with it?  I know it's ok to gain weight now and all, but if I ate every time I was hungry I'd be eating all day.  Some days I never feel full:)  I try to eat healthily but it's a struggle, because who craves carrots???